My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A
Millionaire while we were in

bed. turned to her and said. 'Do you want to have
sex?'

'No.' she answered.

I then said. 'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying
'Yes.'

So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'

And that's when the fight started....

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her
someplace expensive. So, I took her to a gas station. And that's when the fight started..

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for
$14.95^.

^{Instead, she bought jar of
cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better
at night
than the cold cream.
And that's when the fight started}

My wife and ! were sitting  at a table at
my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging
her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My w ife asked. 'Do
you know her?'

'Yes.' I sighed. 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took
to drinking right after we split up those many years ago. and I hear she hasn't
been sober since.' 'My God!' savs my wife. 'Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'

And that's when the fight started

I rear-ended a car this morning. So. there we were alongside the
road and slow ly the other driver got out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little
things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it. He was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car. looked up at me. and shouted. 'I AM
NOT HAPPY!!!'
So. I looked down at him and said. 'Well, then which one are
you?'
And that's when the fight started